But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
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