i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize
