I like to think it a success when the cops are called
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
Randomize
