woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
We left an ass print on the piano.
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
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