Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
I woke up with dick mouth, a raw vagina, an empty bottle of vodka and the best man next to me. I also found my thong by the pool. Best.Wedding.Ever.
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
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