I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
Randomize
