I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
Randomize