oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Randomize
