it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
Randomize
