Kiss
Puke
He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
Randomize
