I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
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