On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
Randomize