I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
Randomize
