Joe is yelling at the trees again.
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
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