Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
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