Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
