Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
My breath smells like gin and sadness
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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