New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
