good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
Randomize