She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
Randomize
