You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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