Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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