I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
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