shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
Randomize
