i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
Randomize
