I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.