So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
25 People Reveal The Creepiest Kids They Went to School With
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
17 Subtle Body Language Signs That Reveal A Lot About Someone
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?