That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.