If i come over, it means nothing
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Randomize
