Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
Randomize
