Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
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