i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
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