"it" just moved
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
Randomize
