things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
We just followed a woman home because she looked like Jeff Goldblum. Turns out she lives in a trailer park.
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
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