for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
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