I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
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