We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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