mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
Randomize
