Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
Randomize
