I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Randomize
