Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
Randomize
