I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Randomize
