What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Randomize
