he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
