I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
Randomize
