he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
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