How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.