ADVERTISEMENT

• (704): View more from North Carolina

  Call me so I can make it juicy for ya

  Fav 8 1733 913

  share tweet
  

• (901): View more from Tennessee

  why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?

  Fav 16 2420 2443

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (302): View more from Delaware

  I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.

  Fav 42 1197 7555

  share tweet
  

• (407): View more from Florida

  He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.

  Fav 41 2142 8550

  share tweet
  
• 

  17 of the Dumbest Defenses Heard in Court

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (203): View more from Connecticut

  i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year

  Fav 58 8540 2258

  share tweet
  

• (631): View more from New York

  is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?

  Fav 26 5828 1226

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (480): View more from Arizona

  I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness

  Fav 5 5320 1072

  share tweet
  

• (504): View more from Louisiana

  I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee

  Fav 23 6074 1332

  share tweet
  

• (614): View more from Ohio

  i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight

  Fav 8 1081 495

  share tweet
  
• 

  These 19 Ladies Love Pegging Their Men

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (860): View more from Connecticut

  You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.

  Fav 0 785 468

  share tweet
  

• (716): View more from New York

  We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?

  Fav 4 591 403

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (314): View more from Missouri

  I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet

  Fav 1 108 96

  share tweet
  

• (+61): View more from Australia

  Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT

  Fav 2 23 45

  share tweet
  

• (815): View more from Illinois

  My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.

  Fav 1 19 11

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (310): View more from California

  Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.

  Fav 0 0 1

  share tweet
  

Randomize