I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
Randomize