I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
These 25 People Are Obsessed With Pizza
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
16 Sexual Experiences EVERYONE Should Have At Least Once
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
He's a Shit stain on my heart
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it