dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Randomize
