i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
Terrible idea I love it
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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