you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
Randomize