butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
