I wanna passion pit in your ass
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Randomize
