Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
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