david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
Randomize
