i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
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