so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Randomize
