I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
Randomize
