Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
Randomize