I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
I stole a fireplace last night.
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
Randomize
