Pregnant stripper...not hot.
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
Randomize
