I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
Randomize
