If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
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