oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize