okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
